It promises to be...a summer of wisteria.
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| From Feldman Family Blog |
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| From Feldman Family Blog |
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| From Feldman Family Blog |
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Run for the Match -- and Wisteria!
Everything here is in bloom and Pesach is in the air. Ilana and Dodi ran the Jerusalem half-marathon over the weekend with respectable times for both. See you all soon! Keren -- and the spring -- is waiting!
It promises to be...a summer of wisteria.
It promises to be...a summer of wisteria.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Inside Misrad Hapnim
Ever wonder how to have fun in Jerusalem? First,set yourself at least four simple bureaucratic tasks. Be creative! For example, try to open a bank account; register your marriage; pay municipal tax; and get your Teudat Oleh? Then clear your schedule for an afternoon out of the office and get to work. Sounds tediously boring? Not in Israel, where every bureaucratic experience is a joy and anthropological study! (Note: rate of anticipated success will be 5-10%.)
Ilana and Dodi had to open a joint bank account to register us as married in the eyes of Israel to allow Dodi to receive his Teudat Oleh to receive our tax discount to pay taxes and avoid prison. Rate of success in this instance: 0%.
Breakdown of folly
Misrad Hapnim: (wait time one hour) refuses to recognize that we are married, even with our official NY State marriage license in hand, because it does not contain a raised seal. (They don't even know about Spitzer and Patterson.) Back to the apostille to have the license certified! Note: when you google apostille, ostensibly an international English-language term, the first sponsored result that comes up is in Tel Aviv. That tells you enough.
Misrad Haklita: clerk not in until Monday. They can't help you. Foolish to think they could, since their budget so low the signs in the lobby are magic-marker on construction paper (shoulda photographed it; sorry).
Bank: this one should be easy -- they're a business, right! Bank on strike. Closed for one day only.
Fun stuff: we went to the City Hall to get a special Jerusalem resident card for discounts on Jerusalem city events. At least we were able to get that and now have awesome discounts on things like the "Time Elevator" and Bible Lands Museum!!! We bought the cards for the discounts they offer on the Jerusalem Half-Marathon in two weeks only to discover that even though today is the last day to register for the race, the discount card does not take effect until tomorrow! Server refresh at midnight. Oh well. So, in fact we lost money instead of saving.
We considered capping off our fun day with a bonus visit to the jolly folks at the Rabbanut or helpful people at the local kupat cholim, but decided to go home instead and revel in all we'd accomplished.
Interested in a similar fun-filled tour over Pesach? Please fax your application in triplicate and we will get back to you in at least six weeks. Make sure you have all your documents in order or we will look at you as if you're the dumbest person in history. Sorry, we don't have email...
Ilana and Dodi had to open a joint bank account to register us as married in the eyes of Israel to allow Dodi to receive his Teudat Oleh to receive our tax discount to pay taxes and avoid prison. Rate of success in this instance: 0%.
Breakdown of folly
Misrad Hapnim: (wait time one hour) refuses to recognize that we are married, even with our official NY State marriage license in hand, because it does not contain a raised seal. (They don't even know about Spitzer and Patterson.) Back to the apostille to have the license certified! Note: when you google apostille, ostensibly an international English-language term, the first sponsored result that comes up is in Tel Aviv. That tells you enough.
Misrad Haklita: clerk not in until Monday. They can't help you. Foolish to think they could, since their budget so low the signs in the lobby are magic-marker on construction paper (shoulda photographed it; sorry).
Bank: this one should be easy -- they're a business, right! Bank on strike. Closed for one day only.
Fun stuff: we went to the City Hall to get a special Jerusalem resident card for discounts on Jerusalem city events. At least we were able to get that and now have awesome discounts on things like the "Time Elevator" and Bible Lands Museum!!! We bought the cards for the discounts they offer on the Jerusalem Half-Marathon in two weeks only to discover that even though today is the last day to register for the race, the discount card does not take effect until tomorrow! Server refresh at midnight. Oh well. So, in fact we lost money instead of saving.
We considered capping off our fun day with a bonus visit to the jolly folks at the Rabbanut or helpful people at the local kupat cholim, but decided to go home instead and revel in all we'd accomplished.
Interested in a similar fun-filled tour over Pesach? Please fax your application in triplicate and we will get back to you in at least six weeks. Make sure you have all your documents in order or we will look at you as if you're the dumbest person in history. Sorry, we don't have email...
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